It’s been a little while since I really kept silent. This has nothing to do with my very vocal nature but this has something to do with the field I am exposed with since time immemorial. I am equipped with potential or shall I say gift to really express what is or are in my head and to reason out for intellectual masturbation.
Yes, with the kind of life I have, it is really hard not to speak at all. However, I don’t speak of verbal silence, what I am referring at is the kind of silence that make the “being” in me stood still for a second or two. The kind of silence that listens and surrender amidst life’s doubt and uncertainty. A silence that takes a lifetime to practice and thus, awaken the spiritual being of me.
Today, as I turned thirty, I did the right thing of KEEPING SILENT, where no electronic gadgets that bothers me, without people who blabbing with their life and not hearing mine, letting people believe that I am alright when in truth and in fact I am not, smiling at people even if am not happy inside.
Out here in the world where I can hear the humming of the birds, seeing bees sucking nectars out of the many flowers in garden, and rainwater dripping on the leaves, came a SILENT RETREAT!
Retreat is negative word which depicts backing down from something. However, a retreat gave serenity and calmness to a hungry heart. For a day or two, I talked to my master and the lover of my soul, but most of the time I listen. Treating myself from every move I made, may it be right or wrong ones. Checking my relationship with the only man who loves me despite and inspite of all my shortcomings, a man who I am really sure will not abandon me in the middle of nowhere, but a man who will carry the cross for me.
Indeed, a celebration of my thirtieth year of blissful but challenging life, by Keeping SILENT…
N.B.
Thanks to the angelic voices and prayers of the monks it did clear out some bugging things in my head. And to my fellow retreatants letting me understand where I am standing at. To family and friends who made my retreat possible.
091110
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