911 Breakfast Buffet

"911 Breakfast Buffet"

written 09-18-09

In the early dawn of September 11, 1980, the fifth baby was born in the family of six. She has round sparkling eyes and fair-colored skin. She was named PILIPINAS MARY C. PALMA with a nickname “Baby Piay/Piai/PI”.

To make the long story short! When I was still a child, even with the meager earnings of my parents, 911 has been a celebration of the family. There’s always a small gathering of family members sharing what was prepared in the table. I always loved having cakes and spaghetti’s of course, I mean, who wouldn’t be with that age. And the best part of it all is the blowing of candles.

But when I started to get older, it seems to me that 911 has become a very personal event of my life, that I become selfish to the extent that I don’t want friends to celebrate it with me. I tend to make 911 a day of personal reflection and recollection to the extent of making me out of reach from family and friends who wanted to wish me all the best in everything. Funny! But it had been my practice for quite sometime now that is, having time alone during 911. Friends surely do not understand what I have become these past few years. Plus, 911 in the year 2001, has turned my life into mourning and grief instead of a celebration because it was also the year when the US was attacked and caused death and injury to many innocent people. But I don’t want to dwell on this part of the story because it will only remind me of the heartless people who have made such a huge destruction to mankind.

Now, back to 911! It was only on my 25^th birthday that I again felt that 911 is a family celebration, that’s when my younger brother Thirdie phoned and asked me to come home to Bohol and have a joint birthday celebration with him. I was so amazed and strucked because Thirdie could have celebrated his 22^nd birthday ahead of me but he chose to celebrate it with me. It was one among the sweetest gift I could ever have from my siblings, simple yet so full of love. After that day I could always feel the sense of togetherness even when I’m islands away from my family, 911 is indeed a celebration. Although, I prefer to always hibernate on 911. If not because of my family and friends, I wouldn’t celebrate my 26^th, 27^th and 28^th 911.

Now here comes my 29^th 911. Yeah! it is definitely sad not to stay sweet 28 forever, where a lot of things had happened during this time of my life. I have become accustomed of just celebrating 911 as normal as it can be. But, come to think of it! 911 come once a year and I couldn’t help but wonder why would I hibernate all throughout the day when I can have it after the celebration. That’s where the 911 breakfast buffet comes in. Usually, I attended mass in the morning to start my 911 with thanksgiving for all the love that God has poured unto me. But, why not start my day with a thanksgiving for the greatest gift of all… THE GIFT OF PERSONS… I would never have become what I am today if not because of the people who have been there for me through moments of celebration and mourning. These people are the ones sent by God, in whatever way they can to bring color to this solitary and wandering life. Of course I could have celebrated my 29^th 911 to my hometown and with my family, but I know they will always be here inside my heart wherever I may be. And I’m so blessed for having very loving and thoughtful sisterhoods and brothers who always reminded me of the joy and excitement of celebrating birthdays when we were still kids. Yes! My 29^th 911, was full of amazing stories of family and friends physically present or not, who have become part of my journey for the last 28 years, and hopefully for the coming years. A bundle of thanks for all who greeted me in advance and all the belated greetings and gifts, it was a wonderful 29^th 911.

FALSE BEAT

December 13, 2000

Room 426 USC-Main

“for wing”

by rjack2000

Memoirs are still fresh

Moments we once shared;

I have given you a test

You only care less.


You uttered you love me

But that doesn’t mean so much to me;

There’s something more that I want

Something made out from a decision

A DECISION TO LOVE…


Attraction is your taste

Looks for you is the best;

That’s why emotions left easily

Since reasons are not kept.


Alas! I like you

There’s nothing I could do;

Reality makes me see

That you are in me.



Unfairness? Aye! I admit

T’was a part of me, you don’t know;

You’re still a child for me

Such mindset of mine doesn’t fit in you



Time has changed

And so did we;

Priorities left us hanging on a cliff

Without choices at stake.



Instinct does not run through me

For reasons is my soul;

You cannot control

Because I’m not a fool

Drifting thoughts of a beloved!

What am I that you should love me and hold me as your dearest love of all… the first time I heard this song made a tingling sensation inside my tummy, a mixed emotion crashing down on me and eventually left me teary-eyed. I could not contain the lines that strucked me, seldom will I shed a tear when hearing music but hearing the lyrics made me wonder again and again, am I worthy of my lovers love? Don’t get me wrong, I have been in love and will still continue to love, but I asked myself did I love my lover as he has loved me more than I could ever wonder? I kept reminding myself that in loving it is not important who gives less and who gives more. But is the love I gave more than enough to compensate my constant lovers’ love for me, a cast of doubts crashed into my heart. Then question sprung, am I really worthy of his love.

They say that when a person cries and the first drop goes in the left eye, it meant that the person is sad, but when its on the other side, the person is happy… and yes, this is truly a confession to make, duh… when I hear this song, the first drop always goes to the left side (not that I can control my tears from falling to this direction). Does this mean that I am sad because I don’t truly love him in return? Or because of shame because sometimes I fly often away… (My thoughts keep on drifting to the times that I become unfaithful to the covenant that my lover and I made)

Shame… yes! I am ashamed because no matter what I do he always give his love without asking something in return. I am ashamed because I cannot and will not be able to reciprocate his love. I was again struck when I read the homily of a priest I used to know while having my review where he talks about respect and obedience to my lovers’ will, i.e. doing the right things without me hurting myself and other people. Obedience without fear and letting go of the things that is not for us, surrendering when the pain is too much to bear and faithfulness to my lover, that no matter what happens he is there for me and will embrace all of me without hesitation. This is another shameful situation, because I know I have disobeyed my lovers will a countless time.

But I relentlessly talked with my lover despite my shortcomings and one of the best ways to really hear my lovers’ loving presence is my self-confessed prayer. It is there at that particular moment that I truly burst my heart out without fear of misjudgment and ridicule. It is in praying that I have time to talk with him, to be thankful of the gifts I have but at the same time ask myself what have I done to deserve his love even at times I become unfaithful to him and when I deviated away from his plan (which always happens). Fr. Jboy once shared to us (reviewers), during a mass held at UP that praying should not be understood as a reward and punishment mechanism, that is, one pray because she wanted to ask him for a favor, and I for one commit the same mistake over and over. Pardon me for defending my actuations, but I would always consider my lover as my emotional buffer as I am a very secretive person when it comes to my personal life. No one could better understand me without judgment but the lover of my soul. And pardon me again, because I can’t change the way I talk with him no matter what.

Succumbing to pain, yes I have had pains that I never shared to anyone, how I died of pain of losing something that I dearly loved, for making a truce with my lover that caused too much pain in the end and thereafter change the course of my path. I was there already but I opted to take another path away from the person I truly love, the man who would not break my heart. And as I begin to forget about him, another one came and come back and then again, I think this was never meant to be. Happiness could only be had if and only in loving it is coupled with commitment that is to really be with the person no matter what the cost is. “Deny oneself pick up ones cross and follow Jesus” does not literally mean go with him, but it’s doing what he loves us to do. I began to wonder why can’t we be with the ones we love especially when all seems to be perfect. Why can’t the love of our lives deny oneself pick up his cross and be with the one they love? There are really things in this world that is beyond our grasp and that includes love…

There are so many instances in my life while having chat with my lover that left me teary-eyed. As I intently listen to my lover and what message he wants to get across, my mind wanders around the words spoken, and could see scenes in my daily life that I had omitted, committed and/or most of the times abstained from doing so. I have wondered why in certain point in my life why I asked myself why God would gave me so much or why I could not have some things that I believe should be mine. But despite of it all, his presence embraced me to understand that my ways isn’t really his ways. So, I will end my thoughts and let this pain of mine be drifted away by his unfathomable love as I surrender all that I am to the one who really loves me the most--- may this song be a constant inspiration to be thankful for the gift of life….. Thank You LOVER OF MY SOUL for your constant reminder.





MY HEART’S THANKSGIVING

*REFRAIN:
As I sing my heart’s thanksgiving
And my eyes look heavenward
How the stars you flung like jewels
Bid your welcome, shine your light
As I marvel at your moonrise
I’m in awe, yet I ask,
What am I that you should love me,
And hold me as your dearest love of all?

You crown me with honor and glory
And you set all things under my feet
You have made me a li’l less than angels
Even if I fly often away (*)

In my anxious and brow-beaten moments,
You comfort me, fill me with peace
When my foes threaten, dare and surround me,
You’re my strength; you’re my light and my shield (*)

How exalted your name is, O Yahweh,
And how lofty the work of your hands
Yet how closely, how dearly you draw me
To your love, your divine majesty (*)

When all the lights are out!

Often than not, we tend to be so convenient in using electricity and forget about emergency power failures. But have we ever given a thought to prepare ourselves when all of the sudden lights are turned off and all we can see is total darkness?

Yes! Darkness sometimes pissed us off especially when dinner is set and we are about to taste the first spoonful of delicious food. We say, we don’t want to experience it again. At this point in time, a light, i.e., emergency lights becomes handy.

Why handy? It is because we do not need to carry on heavy generators in cases of emergency, like when our place is hit by a typhoon, hurricane and all sorts of calamities. It is then handy, because kids at home can use it without any danger.

Indeed emergency lights is safe and easy-to-use, safe as this does not contain high voltage of electricity hence, kids at home will be far from being hurt. It is easy-to-use, as there are only buttons to turn and/or push in times of use.

In fact, there are varying types of emergency flashlights fit for all usages, to name a few; the 4-in-1 auto emergency flashlights built for home use, the multifunctional emergency flashlights used for wide range area and illuminates it just like ordinary lights, there is also a glow stick emergency flashlights which is handy for campers all over the world as it is super small yet it glows twice as much as ordinary flashlights, the solar torch flashlights fit for conserving energy, there is also what we called the squeeze flashlights which by its name one will surely how to manipulate it, and last but not the least is the TLPFL-0610 ideal for Home and CarSpot to Flood Beam.

It is then important that not only in our homes that we should have emergency flashlights but also to wherever we go, in our cars, office work, in our bags and even in our pockets because, even a little spark could save life, and that maybe yours.

i fly away

They say that when a person cries and the first drop goes in the left eye, it meant that the person is sad, but when its on the other side, the person is happy… and yes, this is truly a confession to make, duh… when I hear this song, the first drop always goes to the left side (not that I can control my tears from falling to this direction). Does this mean that I am sad because I don’t truly love him in return? Or because of shame because sometimes I fly often away… (My thoughts keep on drifting to the times that I become unfaithful to the covenant that my lover and I made)